SG World are currently running a marketing campaign asking schools how well they would do if they had a safeguarding report card from Ofsted, would they get “top marks” or “room for improvement”? Whilst planning the campaign the team re-visited some old school reports for inspiration and decided “needs extra encouragement to focus on the activity at hand” was a tactful way of pointing out a child has the attention span of a gerbil.
We’ve collected together some of our favourite funny report card comments on the web from teachers struggling to be tactful or just telling it like it is. Although we suspect a few of these might be more wishful thinking than genuine they’re still pretty amusing. Enjoy.
The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell.
He has given me a new definition of stoicism: he grins and I bear it.
Would be lazy but for absence.
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
This student should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
He has lots of good ideas but needs to learn that others do too.
It would seem that he thinks he is running the school and not me. If this attitude persists one of us will have to leave.
This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.