SG World are currently running a marketing campaign asking schools how well they would do if they had a safeguarding report card from Ofsted, would they get “top marks” or “room for improvement”? Whilst planning the campaign the team re-visited some old school reports for inspiration and decided “needs extra encouragement to focus on the activity at hand” was a tactful way of pointing out a child has the attention span of a gerbil.
We’ve collected together some of our favourite funny report card comments on the web from teachers struggling to be tactful or just telling it like it is. Although we suspect a few of these might be more wishful thinking than genuine they’re still pretty amusing. Enjoy.
- The improvement in his handwriting has revealed his inability to spell.
- He has given me a new definition of stoicism: he grins and I bear it.
- Would be lazy but for absence.
- Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
- Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
- This student should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- He has lots of good ideas but needs to learn that others do too.
- It would seem that he thinks he is running the school and not me. If this attitude persists one of us will have to leave.
- This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
